This phrase is near and dear to my heart.
As a woman, our hormonal profile (high in oxytocin, progesterone and estrogen, low in testosterone) is known to create the "tend and befriend" mentality. Haven't you met a person, perhaps a new friend that your child brought home from school, and instantly you want to care for them?
Feed them a snack, wash their precious little face, trim their bangs, mend a few loose threads in their clothing? (And that goes for grown ups too!) It's an instinct that's alive and well in me and many other women. In fact I'd say it's our most primal essence.
Now, it can go awry. We shouldn't go meddling into other people's lives or cutting other kids' hair unless their mom agrees. We need to respect other peoples sovereignty, and we should never assume we know what's best for others. Yet I feel that the "live and let live" mentality has become too extreme at this point in time.
Let's get into what I mean when I say "WOMEN supporting WOMEN."
1) babysitting and feeding each others children.
2) being a role model other children can look up to.
3) having a stable financial base so we can help a friend out with groceries or gas, or even rent if she is in need.
4) building a loving, thriving relationship with our husbands, and supporting that in our friends. Listening with love and calmness when couples go through hardship, and sharing reflections thay make tough situations BETTER, not worse.
5) caring for our own bodies and health, so we can share our energy and wisdom with our circle. Knowing about healing herbs, foods, and lifestyle practice.
6) cooking healthy food so there's always a meal to share if a friend stops by.
7) noticing when a friend is down and checking on her.
8) being brave enough to share when a friend is out of line or going down a bad path.
9) tending to our mothers as they tended to us as babies and children. Strengthening relationships with blood relatives (sisters, sisters-in-law, cousins, nieces, etc.)
10) keeping children and girls (teens and young ladies) safe from sexual abuse. This is an ongoing project, and includes educating them about how to stay safe, and helping them recover if bad things happen. Educating them about our female bodies, how to plan pregnancy, and how to avoid sexual harm in the context of dating and marriage.
11) Being fun, silly and playful. Making lots of inappropriate jokes. Dancing, singing karaoke, doing art, gardening, and adorning ourselves in a way that's colorful, fun and glowing.
What would you add?
Warmly, Dr. Suuzi Hazen
Art courtesy of National Museum of New Delhi. Temple wall frescoes from the Buddhist caves of Ajanta.